Ah bless him.
Elder and I have been together for quite a while, and when I met him he used to be quite snarly. He certainly taught me how to grow a pair and stop being a pussy.
However, with him settling into middle age, and being a bit of a closet hippy, he has mellowed with age.
Which is fecking annoying, actually.
Take the Letter.
We got our nice allergy dude to bang us up a no arguments "you all suck and are reprehensible arseholes" letter on why Evil Genius should never be given to play with or eat any of his allergy triggers, especially the Legumes of Doom.
I was all ready and waiting to shove that letter up RNT arse, in front of the rest of the parents, sensible or otherwise that she had felt obliged to patronise Elder in front of. I thought he'd be all for it too.
Computer, or more accurately Elder says no.
Gutted, readers, I was gutted. He wanted to be the bigger person and give it to the Head. And not just because he thinks she's got nice legs.
So, I suggested I come with and he could calmly give it to RNT. Except he read over my shoulder that I was going to film him giving it to RNT in the hope his old ballsy side would come out and he'd make her look like the twat she so obviously is.
So he banned me. Yes, you read that right, he banned me from coming to the school with him. Bastard.
Well, what could I do?
Nowt, my maties, utterly nowt.
He did give it to the school but in a calm dignified manner. Clearly my not being there meant he was all sensible (I do spark his ballsy side you see).
However, fear not, cos tomorrow is Parents Evening, and despite the fact I had planned to not go to Evil Genius' one, I so am now.
I will let you know what happens. I only wish I could film it but my phone is too big.
Monday, 14 October 2013
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Head...Meet Desk.
FFS
It doesn't get any better in the Twilight zone that is Maiden-posh.
So, after finding the chickpeas on the picture Evil Genius brought home (or the Legumes of Doom as I am now fond of calling them), we went in to see RNT. We were all ready for her to make excuses.
And then she didn't. She looked- big surprise- like she was going to cry. Again. In fact, should there have been an isolated flood warning over that Classroom neither myself or any of the rest of the sensible parent minority (and believe me, the ratio of sensible to outright snobby fucker is low) would not have been surprised.
In fact, RNT offered to replace Evil Geniuses reading folder.
Off we went in shock.
I should have fucking known, shouldn't I?
When Elder went to pick the Brats up, RNT plus side kick were waiting to patronise him on how they weren't at fault as the picture was not legume filled at all. She had Googled it and everything.
How the fuck he didn't tell her what an utter lazy bitch she is gives some indication of how mellow my other half is.
It gets worse.
I phoned the Head when they got back and they've lost Evil Geniuses paperwork, or more specifically the paperwork which shows exactly what he is allergic to. But they wont own up to losing it, no, they wont admit they've ever had it. So it's my fault then, obviously, as usual.
Cunts.
Yesterday, he got given PEAS with his lunch- very clever. So he came out again yesterday having an allergic reaction.
I have had enough now. Of the scatty Orgasms For Jesus Governor, the Old Crone Ex-Head (who despite finally being farmed off before she was sacked for being an incompetent old boot still keeps turning up at the school, like she owns the fucking place) and RNT. So I've lodged a complaint with the LEA.
Except they will only be able to deal with this complaint should the school have gone through a correct complaints procedure. Which no doubt they wont have done, on purpose to stop parent's from shopping them to the LEA.
I have kept Evil Genius off today. Fuck them and their school.
So, I walked Diva Girl in, and as usual the baggy of arse tracksuited faux snobby lot ignored me. Yawn.
About a month ago, I saw on Facebook that they were all twittering back and forth to my lovely neighbour as well (they collared her FB details when she was pissed the swines) about a Christmas Party for the Mums. Bleugh.
I also know they added each other months and months ago, but blanked me and the neighbour for being of the sensible parent ratio.
Well, it seems suddenly they've all egged on one of their so-childish-they-may-as-well-wearschool-uniform clique to ask me to come. To make up the numbers. (I saw mass discussion regards the need to invite another Mum as they need to balance out the cost).
She comes over, first time any of them have spoken to me in weeks, and says they've "just started adding each other on Facebook" (Bullshit) and they have been "talking about booking a table for a Christmas Lunch over the weekend (not for 4 weeks and they've already booked it) and I must add them on Facebook to be part of their "network" (I'd rather sleep with Boris Johnsson while David Cameron wanks himself off in the corner than be a park of their "network of twats").
I needed a very large gin when I got to the Shop, but as it's held in a church and there was no gin I had to settle for coffee.
How about fuck off.
I need to move to Cornwall, I will live in a tent if it means getting out of this shit pit of idiocy.
LG
It doesn't get any better in the Twilight zone that is Maiden-posh.
So, after finding the chickpeas on the picture Evil Genius brought home (or the Legumes of Doom as I am now fond of calling them), we went in to see RNT. We were all ready for her to make excuses.
And then she didn't. She looked- big surprise- like she was going to cry. Again. In fact, should there have been an isolated flood warning over that Classroom neither myself or any of the rest of the sensible parent minority (and believe me, the ratio of sensible to outright snobby fucker is low) would not have been surprised.
In fact, RNT offered to replace Evil Geniuses reading folder.
Off we went in shock.
I should have fucking known, shouldn't I?
When Elder went to pick the Brats up, RNT plus side kick were waiting to patronise him on how they weren't at fault as the picture was not legume filled at all. She had Googled it and everything.
How the fuck he didn't tell her what an utter lazy bitch she is gives some indication of how mellow my other half is.
It gets worse.
I phoned the Head when they got back and they've lost Evil Geniuses paperwork, or more specifically the paperwork which shows exactly what he is allergic to. But they wont own up to losing it, no, they wont admit they've ever had it. So it's my fault then, obviously, as usual.
Cunts.
Yesterday, he got given PEAS with his lunch- very clever. So he came out again yesterday having an allergic reaction.
I have had enough now. Of the scatty Orgasms For Jesus Governor, the Old Crone Ex-Head (who despite finally being farmed off before she was sacked for being an incompetent old boot still keeps turning up at the school, like she owns the fucking place) and RNT. So I've lodged a complaint with the LEA.
Except they will only be able to deal with this complaint should the school have gone through a correct complaints procedure. Which no doubt they wont have done, on purpose to stop parent's from shopping them to the LEA.
I have kept Evil Genius off today. Fuck them and their school.
So, I walked Diva Girl in, and as usual the baggy of arse tracksuited faux snobby lot ignored me. Yawn.
About a month ago, I saw on Facebook that they were all twittering back and forth to my lovely neighbour as well (they collared her FB details when she was pissed the swines) about a Christmas Party for the Mums. Bleugh.
I also know they added each other months and months ago, but blanked me and the neighbour for being of the sensible parent ratio.
Well, it seems suddenly they've all egged on one of their so-childish-they-may-as-well-wearschool-uniform clique to ask me to come. To make up the numbers. (I saw mass discussion regards the need to invite another Mum as they need to balance out the cost).
She comes over, first time any of them have spoken to me in weeks, and says they've "just started adding each other on Facebook" (Bullshit) and they have been "talking about booking a table for a Christmas Lunch over the weekend (not for 4 weeks and they've already booked it) and I must add them on Facebook to be part of their "network" (I'd rather sleep with Boris Johnsson while David Cameron wanks himself off in the corner than be a park of their "network of twats").
I needed a very large gin when I got to the Shop, but as it's held in a church and there was no gin I had to settle for coffee.
How about fuck off.
I need to move to Cornwall, I will live in a tent if it means getting out of this shit pit of idiocy.
LG
Friday, 4 October 2013
Arghhhh! School Related Issues
Bloody feckin' useless school from hell.
See, I would normally post this on my blog, however owing to Raving Nutcase Teacher finding the blog last term, I now have to say it here instead.
So RNT as she will be referred to from hereonin is now the Evil Geniuses teacher, and there's now the same old pattern emerging as with Diva Girl.
Let's go all Lloyd Grossman for a moment and look at the evidence:
Child not wanting to go to school? CHECK
Child lacking confidence? CHECK
Child not themselves, teary and angry for no reason? CHECK AND FULL HOUSE
Its not sodding on.
To make it worse, the Governor (or as I call her "Orgasms for Jesus") decided to bitch us in the playground in front of the worse possible fecking parent she could have done. So now I get death stares from all the suck up parents (and their puffa jackets and baggy tracksuit pants) in the playground. Wonderful.
OK, so Him Indoors may have told her to piss off, but you can barely blame him when some middle class Boden wearing Tory decides to come and take credit for sorting out a bullying issue that she and the last Head (or the old Crone) failed to deal with for 18 months, preferring instead to suggest that Diva Girl was in need of psychological testing.
Cut to today, and the brats have been doing "International Week" (clearly someone has been taking tips from the McDonalds adverts) and low and behold a whole load of crap paper (appearing in a recycling box near you. Oh don't look like that, if I kept every drawing they bring home or create indoors, our house would be deemed a fire risk) came home.
Including a picture. From Evil Genius. Covered in chick peas.
What's wrong with that I hear you ask.
HE'S FECKING ALLERGIC TO THEM. THEY KNOW THIS, HE'S HAD A FECKING REACTION IN THEIR SHITTY SCHOOL BEFORE.
ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
And breathe.
So, they are well aware that he should not have these bloody things in the bloody classroom.
What annoys me is that they can be careful not to have pork in school down to the largely ethnic majority of children in the school. Pork which is nothing to do with anything other than a few words in a book, and nothing that would possibly kill a child.
BUT chickpeas, which could bloody restrict Evil Geniuses airways? Fine and dandy to fuck up on three times!
What the fuck is wrong with these people.
And of course, if I go into school about it and have a go, which is my bloody right after them fucking up again, the RNT will do what she usually does and cry. The woman is so practised at it she does the doe eyed look from the fringe better than Princess Di ever did. She's a grown fucking woman with children, cop yourself on, grow up and stop bloody whinging. If you fuck up, bloody own up, simple.
What annoys me is she wanted Diva Girl tested for what? CRYING TOO MUCH. When a boy was punching and kicking her all the time, when she's 5 and then 6, What the fuck is her excuse?
So, that's the Anti Bullshit for today. Thanks for reading.
LG
See, I would normally post this on my blog, however owing to Raving Nutcase Teacher finding the blog last term, I now have to say it here instead.
So RNT as she will be referred to from hereonin is now the Evil Geniuses teacher, and there's now the same old pattern emerging as with Diva Girl.
Let's go all Lloyd Grossman for a moment and look at the evidence:
Child not wanting to go to school? CHECK
Child lacking confidence? CHECK
Child not themselves, teary and angry for no reason? CHECK AND FULL HOUSE
Its not sodding on.
To make it worse, the Governor (or as I call her "Orgasms for Jesus") decided to bitch us in the playground in front of the worse possible fecking parent she could have done. So now I get death stares from all the suck up parents (and their puffa jackets and baggy tracksuit pants) in the playground. Wonderful.
OK, so Him Indoors may have told her to piss off, but you can barely blame him when some middle class Boden wearing Tory decides to come and take credit for sorting out a bullying issue that she and the last Head (or the old Crone) failed to deal with for 18 months, preferring instead to suggest that Diva Girl was in need of psychological testing.
Cut to today, and the brats have been doing "International Week" (clearly someone has been taking tips from the McDonalds adverts) and low and behold a whole load of crap paper (appearing in a recycling box near you. Oh don't look like that, if I kept every drawing they bring home or create indoors, our house would be deemed a fire risk) came home.
Including a picture. From Evil Genius. Covered in chick peas.
What's wrong with that I hear you ask.
HE'S FECKING ALLERGIC TO THEM. THEY KNOW THIS, HE'S HAD A FECKING REACTION IN THEIR SHITTY SCHOOL BEFORE.
ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
And breathe.
So, they are well aware that he should not have these bloody things in the bloody classroom.
What annoys me is that they can be careful not to have pork in school down to the largely ethnic majority of children in the school. Pork which is nothing to do with anything other than a few words in a book, and nothing that would possibly kill a child.
BUT chickpeas, which could bloody restrict Evil Geniuses airways? Fine and dandy to fuck up on three times!
What the fuck is wrong with these people.
And of course, if I go into school about it and have a go, which is my bloody right after them fucking up again, the RNT will do what she usually does and cry. The woman is so practised at it she does the doe eyed look from the fringe better than Princess Di ever did. She's a grown fucking woman with children, cop yourself on, grow up and stop bloody whinging. If you fuck up, bloody own up, simple.
What annoys me is she wanted Diva Girl tested for what? CRYING TOO MUCH. When a boy was punching and kicking her all the time, when she's 5 and then 6, What the fuck is her excuse?
So, that's the Anti Bullshit for today. Thanks for reading.
LG
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